Baby's heart beat and sonogram

It was so amazing to see out litlle luvbug live and in person.  The sonogram lady said she thinks its a girl but that it is too early to say for sure.  I am feeling great just a little sleepy whenever we watch TV.  I am going to have a hospital birth , we found an amazing ob gyn office close to home and we get to deliever at the same hospital Jennifer Lopez did! 

4/27/10 Baby Sonogram

Hospital or home birth???

I am in my 3rd Tri and feeling great.  No more vomiting, I am hungry every 3 hours or so and I have much more energy during the day, although I still nod off on the sofain the evening.
We have an appointment tomorrow with a new ob doc and I want to discuss options with them.  I definately want a natural birth (as long as there are no complications).  I am afraid of the high c section rate in this country (I am from England and they do things a lot differently over there).  After going to a lespian pregnancy support group and hearing from a midwife and a doula I am totally intrigued and considering a home birth with a back up doctor.  We also watched the 'business of being born' which was also an eye opener.  hmmmmmmmmmmmm so much to take into consideration....

Women for Women ?#*!

Ok so last night we went to the doctors and what a terrible experience.  Since starting our TTC journey in Oct 09 we have been treated so nicely from our fertility clinic.  I went to see this particular ob gyn back then  (last nights appt) and explained our situation she seemed ok with it.  Last night we were so excited to see our lil luvbug and they wouldnt let M in with me, so we were crushed and her lovely face looked heartbroken, they said the doctor sees the patient first and then she would see us both.  I said she wants to see the sonogram but I got the impression there was no sonogram.  I was so upset M had to stay in the waiting room , she used to come with me even when I had my blood taken and there was never a problem the doc's always talked to us both..  The doc walked past me totally snubbed me I was trying to say hello and she completely  ignored me.  So the nurse was a horrid homophobe she looked at me and said oh your here because your pregnant, I said yes and she said and do you want to keep it? I was stunned I said of course.  I had just peed in a cup and I told her to throw the urine in the garbage I didnt want them to get any of our insurance money.  I said they made me so uncomfortable I stormed out of there and told the receptionist to cancel everything I would never go back there.  We left in a blaze of outrage.  The sickest part of the whole ordeal is that the clinic is called women for women!!!!  I think they need a severe name change....   so I am scrambling to make my first ob appt how often do you get prenatel visits??

Our first ob gyn appt 2nite

So I have lots of questions for the doctor, I am nervous that everything is ok with the baby and I know there are certain tests that can be done I am not sure as of how far along you have to be, I am  35 and I just hope for the best .  My mind wanders at all the things that can go wrong and I guess its normal to have concerns but I keep trying my best to push the negative  thoughts out of my head and replace it with positive thoughts of a healthy happy little baby!  I can't wait for tonights 7pm appointment and maybe that will give me peace of mind.

Staying awake long enough to blog

I am so so so super tired all the time.  My work is kinda physical - painter/muralist/artist, today M said she hopes I stay awake so I can finish my job!  I finished (barely) another babies room and after painting many rooms for others I am so excited to finally do it for our very own baby, I cannot wait and I am searching for the right theme.  I can't wait to know the babies sex maybe that will help inspire me too. 
My appetite is so wierd right now, I am the kinda person that would eat anything and lately there is nothing that appeals to me.  Poor M no longer gets cooked dinners she is great and is more that happy to eat cereal for dinner.  I can manage cantalope and tomatoes on bread, salt and vinegar chips and thats about it.  It's terrible I buy all these healthy fresh foods, avacados, oranges, strawberrys and throw them all away as I dont want to look at them never mind eat them. 
Well time to lay down ...  I have not finished watching a Tv show with M in about a month I fall asleep sometimes 10 mins and sometimes I make it to the half hour mark, she strokes my hair and I catch up on our shows at a later time.  Where did all my energy go?  zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Feeling sooooooooo tired and emotional and somewhat cranky.  There are certain foods I really want to eat and others I just have to stay away from.  I have had some slight nausea but nothing too bad.
This weekend I had a surprise birthday party for M and some of my friends busted me, found my prenatal vitmins and even though I was wearing a baggy t-sirt loose jeans and a cooking apron they could tell, so due to circumstances beyond our control close family and a few friends know we are prego and they were so happy.  It is exciting and overwhelming I feel like there is so much to do, (de clutter the house, orgainize paperwork, and many other things on my to do list)  and I dont have any energy to it...  hope my energy levels get better soon..